THE TRUTH OF ‘I LOVE YOU’ by Dr John Demartini

A few years ago I had the great good fortune of listening to Dr Demartini speak at an event.  At the time I had some personal issues that I wanted to sort out, issues that I felt were holding me back in many ways.  I was so impressed by what he had to say that I signed up for the ‘Breakthrough Experience’, a 3 day course that he runs.  It was one of the hardest weekends of my life but also one of the most life-changing weekends.  This was during a period of time where I had a brain-storm (not to be confused with brain-wave…which is usually the precursor to something sensible) and signed up to just about every Personal Development course that was being held in London at that time (2007-2008), 9 months of madness that cost me a ruddy fortune.  Subsequent to that period of lunacy, I was left with a serious amount of debt and over a period of time….a healthy respect of Personal Development avoidance.

However, subsequent to that and because this particular course did in fact produce a positive outcome, Dr Demartini’s course was/is the only one I would ever recommend.  I signed up to his newsletters and follow his page on facebook.  I enjoy reading the information he sends and usually get some real learning out of it.  I received this in the mail a few days ago and thought I would share it with you as it is really profound….I hope he doesn’t mind ( and in case he reads this (as if) no Dr D I am not putting you on a pedestal….I just really appreciate what you teach! )

So here goes:

” The three words ‘I LOVE YOU’ can be for some the most challenging words to say and yet also the most commonly appreciated words for people to hear.

Many people hold back on sharing their love and appreciation for others because of a fear of rejection.
I often ask my clients what they would do if they were told they only had 24 hours to live. In all, if not most cases, they say they would make sure they used their last hours to say ‘Thank you, I love you’ to all of the people they feel contributed towards their lives.

At the core of every human being, we all just want to be loved and appreciated for who we are. So letting someone know that you love them is one of the most precious gifts you can give.

Whether Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day or Children’s Day, when it comes to those you love, find a way to share your appreciation and the truth of your heart.

When asked the best way to overcome the fear of saying ‘I love you’, I suggest the following:

Write down 25 benefits to you of your sharing the words ‘I love you’ with the person you wish to share your heart with, and then also write down 25 drawbacks to you of not sharing the words ‘I love you’ with them.
Whenever we see more benefits than drawbacks in an outcome, we take action.
Write down all the things you fear may occur if you say ‘I love you’ and then take each item you listed and ask how it will benefit you if it occurs. Every situation has a balance of support and challenge and no matter what happens you will always experience both sides.
Write down 25 benefits to the person hearing you say you love them and 25 drawbacks for that person if you do not tell them. When you perceive more benefits to them of hearing the truth of your heart you will feel inspired to tell them you love them.
In our daily relationships we swing back and forth between like and dislike, attract and repel, yet are these not the two arms walking hand in hand as one in a balanced gait – truthfully called love.

True love is the synthesis and synchronicity of all complementary emotions – a balance between the attractive and repulsive emotional extremes. It is a pure energy that permeates our entire existence. When applied to a romantic or intimate relationship, true love emerges as you come to appreciate both the positive and negative, good and bad, happy and sad and ups and downs of a relationship. You realise that the purpose of a relationship is not only romance, joy, support and so-called happiness; it is also equally about learning, challenge, growth and personal evolution.

True love is our ultimate objective, whether we’re aware of it or not. We may think we’re looking for something else, something material and fleeting, but even the pursuit of transient goals just leads us back to the truth of love. The purpose of all relationships is to dissolve the barriers that keep us from recognising the love that already is and expressing the love we ultimately are.

Love and wisdom,
Dr John Demartini “

As I said these are his words, and I have not added or subtracted anything from them, but I have sure gained a lot.  Hope you have enjoyed it as much.

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Weobley revisited and the Hereford poop machine

the Weobley poop machine

And that of course would be the dog!!! I have nicknamed him the Hereford poop machine and for good reason. I am not really partial to dogs, I can take them or leave them…preferrable the latter, but as it turns out this little dog has won a spot in my heart…albeit only a tiny spot!
When the agency initially phoned me about the job, I was keen until I heard about the dog….and then I had pause for thought. As it turned out of course I accepted and here I am. This is my 2nd stint at this particular position and so far I am enjoying it as much as I did the first time. When I arrived I received a raptuous welcome from the dog that really made me smile and feel kinda special….ahhh how sweet, he remembered me and was thrilled to see me. Ha! A few days later my illusions were shattered when a friend came to visit….she got as raptuous a welcome…..so it wasnt my scintillating personality then!!!
However, be that as it may, the dawg has taken quite a shine to me…probably coz I take him for frequent walks. He sits under my chair when I am working and at my feet when watching TV. Sweet!   He has cottoned on to the routine for when we are about to go for a walk….of course I daren’t use the word ‘walk’ in his presence and usually say something like ‘ I’ll take himself out for a stroll’…hahahaha. So now when he sees me walk upstairs and come back down with my black jacket over my arm, he starts getting hyper and the tail goes mad….wagging so violently that his bottom end moves from side to side. I then sit down on the chair to change my shoes and put my trainers on and at that stage is when I start talking to him! Ok, so don’t raise your eyebrows like that….I have to build the anticipation of the walk ahead you know. I say things like ‘yes, you know we’re going for a walk don’t you?!’ or someother nonensical stuff like that and the little dog sits and watches me intently, cocking his head from side to side as I talk, his bright button eyes never leaving my face, just waiting for me to get up and then he is off like a rocket to the scullery bouncing around like a puppy despite his considerable 11years+.    Then when I pick up the lead…omgosh!  He goes ballistic and it’s all I can do to stop him jumping up into my arms. Hysterical.  And thats where the poop machine comes into it, and that is the bit of my job I do not appreciate….being the pooper-scooper!!! blergh!! I have to take at least 3 bags along each time and wonder why he can’t just squat once and get it over with.
As we walk I have to wonder why it is that we walk 10 feet and he lifts his leg, walk another 10 feet and he lifts his leg, this goes on right through the whole walk.  Lady dogs are far more polite and sensible and squat once and thats it! However, I do enjoy the walks, although it’s unclear who is taking whom for the walk…..I get a lot of brisk exercise as he rushes about, sniffing here, sniffing there and bolting along like we have a train to catch, and when we head for home it’s all I can do to keep on my feet!!

One of the walks we make is out the village past the village hall along what is known as a ‘country road’; 7ft high hedges, fields of crops or orchards on either side, birds flitting about overgrown grassy fields and twittering for all kingdom to hear, wild flowers scattered like bright jewels alongside the hedgerows and overall this, amazing peace and quiet.  Have you ever stood and listened to the quiet? It’s palpable here. The contrast between here and home is very apparent in that here I see the occassional car, peak-hour traffic

peak-hour traffic

whereas at home the traffic flies past, a never-ending roar of about a thousand cars an hour. Here there isn’t even a stop street or yield sign, never mind a traffic light.  Another route takes us along a narrow little lane with a small stream on one side and a field of crops on the other, the blue sky stretches to the horizon filled with fluffy white clouds that tower up like puffs of cotton wool, a field of sheep and the blissful peace.

fluffy white clouds in blue skies

I am totally in love with this little village. The first time I came I took hundreds of photos so it’s not like I missed anything, but I can tell you that I have been hard put to not take just as many photos again.

The Throne, where King Charles I slept on 5th September 1645

The history of the village is just amazing, and the one house that used to be the Unicorn Inn, now known as ‘The Throne’, is where King Charles I slept 5th September 1645 on his way to London , where he eventually lost his head. The thought that King Charles I actually walked (okay probably rode his horse is more like it) in the same place where I was walking is just thrilling beyond words. I am dying to knock on the door of this rambling, ramshackle, ancient building, now called ‘The Throne’, and ask if I can have a look around. I can just imagine the rickety staircases, and low doors, and wooden beamed rooms filled with history. Imagine living in a house like that!!! I have had a chance to have a closer look at the construction of the houses too and it’s incredible to see the ancient wooden pegs knocked into the struts holding them to the main frame of the house.

ancient architecture

The Manor House is the oldest remaining house in the village and predates Tudor! Imagine!  So instead of taking loads of photos of the houses I have concentrated on photos of the fields and flowers and just a few repeats of the architecture……

The Manor – probably built pre-Tudor

I also explored the remains of the castle (built in the early 1200′s by Walter de Lacy), walked along the top of the mound and walked through the remains of the moat.

the remains of the moat of the castle

So this 2nd stint in Weobley has been good, just the long days kill me. I don’t mind staying up till 11.30pm, in fact I seldom get to bed before 1am in London, but then I get to sleep till 9am the next day….here I only get to bed by 11.30pm and have to be up at 7am the next morning, in fact the sun comes up so early that by 6am I am usually awake.  Also sitting around and being confined to the house most of the day is quite tiring. The routine is the same every day and the same thing happens at the same time with very little variation. The pace is very slow and for someone who is used to heading through the day at fullspeed…it’s amazing how tiring it is. But I do enjoy the peacefulness of the area and the lady is lovely. I am not sure though that I will be back since it takes such a long time to get here…6 hours travelling in all.  We shall have to see.
One of the other things that I love is how friendly the villagers are, never in London would you walk past someone on the way to the store and have them say ‘good-morning’ as you walk by. It’s great. it’s been raining a lot in England lately and we had a deluge the first few days I was here and the flowers and leaves were hung with drops of water that look like diamonds.

diamond drops

Everything is so lush and beautiful. We have also had lots and lots of bluebells growing in the gardens which are all open plan so it’s been a treat to see them in clumps everywhere.

bluebells; Hyacinthoides non-scripta (formerly Endymion non-scriptus or Scilla non-scripta) is a bulbous perennial plant, found in Atlantic areas from north-western Spain to the British Isles (ref wikipedia)

I was quite concerned I may miss them as I never did get to go to Kew last month, but I plan a trip for when I get back and before I whizz off again for the next job…thankfully that will be in zone 3 of London and only an hour or so from home. What that means is that I will have internet reception and hopefully get to do some work online, one of the things I have missed a lot in Weobley….zero internet reception and very little phone connection. I usually have to hang out the upstairs window to get reception.
So with just four days left till I head on home, I will continue to enjoy the quiet and the walks and the company. The lady, who is 94, used to play snooker when she was younger, is a great fan of the game and so we have been watching the snooker finals with Ronnie O’Sullivan and Ali Carter amongst others…and I have become quite the addict myself!! hahaha. That said it’s a real bother that after the snooker is finished the TV goes off and except for Eggheads which we watch religiously every day, and I know know a lot of useless information….  So I have missed most of the programmes I usually enjoy and that is one of the things I shall make the most of when I get back home…. and as I write, that is only 4.5 days away. Hooray!!!! (that was then and of course as I write now….I am already home).

The train journey through the English countryside is a real treat, so beautiful and the yellow fields of rape seed plants stretch to the horizon,

rape seed fields

a wonderful contrast to the green fields dotted with sheep or horses. The rivers are full to the brim, thick brown water racing along, ignoring the corners and just swamping the banks as they go.

River Usk coming round the corner into Newport, Wales

Many of the fields are still under water but what can be seen is lush and green, in so many variations you could not imagine that one colour could have so many different shades. The rain has lifted now and the sky is a fabulous blue with puffs of white cloud piled high, marvellous.

fields swamped with water

and here I am back in London, and besides the level of noise, one of the first things I have noticed is that my headache is back! Well now?   There’s a thing.  I didnt have one headache whilst I was away and within 12 hours of being back in London I have a headache. Hmmm. Is it the pollution perhaps or the noise levels? Although I take Vogel’s ‘oat drops’ at night to help me sleep (they knock me out), I am sure the constant noise of traffic outside my window doesn’t help (we have a major thoroughfare about 10 yards from my window). I was also very aware of the pollution as we came back into the city perimeter, the sky looks brown and grey. Urgh! And again it was brought home quite forcefully the mad rush and calamitious nature of the city. People are so rude, pushing and shoving; the sheer level of aggression which you get so used to when here all the time that you eventually don’t notice it, and within 10 minutes of getting off the train I was feeling so aggro! Grrr.

And then to top it all, I waited 25 minutes for the bus (after a 4.5 hour journey, this is not what I wish to do with my time), and then a bus-ride that normally takes about 10 minutes took over 20 to get from the station to my stop. My god! I am going to write to Boris Johnson and suggest he gets the buses sorted. I can’t even begin to imagine how bloody awful it’s going to be with the Olympics.  And now of course the drivers et al are threatening to strike unless they get and extra £500 for the period. Come on people, you have a job, just do it. I haven’t had an increase in salary for over three years now and they are bitching about having to drive extra people.

Anyhow, that’s enough of that….I will put #grumpygranny back in her box for now and save that particular rant for another blog.
Some great and fun news is that I went on my 5th and final Dragon and Flagon Pub Tour last night and whoooo hoooo I got my badge! I have now been inducted into the Order of the Dragon and am officially a Dragon! Harhar!

me and Vic – our erstwhile pub-tour guide. I got my badge in front of The Monument

And what a fun night it was too. Vic is such a terrific tour guide. I got to see the first church that was re-built by Christopher Wren after the Great Fire of 1666, a narrow cobbled road that slopes downhill with a gutter that runs down the middle – designed to allow the effluent of the ancient city to run off into the river!! ewwwww!!!

Lovat Lane – where the old surface is barely the width of a plague cart’s wheelbase and the gutter still runs down the middle carrying effluent to the river

imagine how vile the air must have been, visited the site of the entrance to (oops cant remember now) from the “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askeban” movie, had a Bailey’s on ice in a pub closely associated with Lewis Carroll (he of Alice in Wonderland fame), visited my favourite pub of all time, saw the last of the ancient city bollards – made from the tube of a captured French cannon,

on the banks of the Thames this old bollard is made from an old cannon from a 18th century warship

we re-visited the site where Samuel Pepys stood as he watched London burning in 1666 and did a whole lot of ‘shard spotting’ (the building is looking brilliant now and it’s almost unbelievable how high it is).

The Shard, designed by the international architect, Renzo Piano

super cool. The evening ended off at a pub I had wanted to visit, have walked past a number of times and never gone in; awesome…..and then home (1.5hours journey time????), never let it be said that London is a small city….. and then a catch up with my delightful daughter whom I have not seen for 2 weeks and finally to bed at 1am.
I am home!

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high tide in Richmond

I may have mentioned before (or not) that we live very near to the river Thames in Richmond.  This is a constant source of enjoyment and pleasure to me and I try to plan a walk alongside or over the river at least once a day…if not more

Walking over the bridge was the highlight of my journey to work in the mornings and the view of the river as the train whizzed across the railway bridge near Gunnersbury was a constant source of amazement…..the view is wonderful.   The river holds a fascination for me that I have never experienced before and I get a lot of enjoyment from it.  There is nothing more enjoyable than a stroll along the banks past the Old Deer Park with my daughter.  In fact I would say that most of my happiest memories are tied up in those walks.

Sunsets from the top of the bridge are breathtaking and misty days no less so.  The changing of the seasons are easily visible along the banks and the view of the snow from the bridge painted a very pretty picture.  There are a number of houseboats tied up along the banks near Twickenham Bridge and these are a real pleasure to look at.

Despite the fact that the scene remains the same everyday….yet every day is different.  Just little things like a new boat tied up, or swans sailing by, a police craft patrolling, geese landing, river cruisers going by, the tide out or the tide in, sunny days and rainy days all create an ever changing pattern.  I am always surprised when people tell me they never noticed…….how could you not!  Some days the river is completely empty (well almost) and other days it is filled to overflowing!

So here is a collage of photos to give you a glimpse of my very own version of heaven on earth.

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#BGT and me :) #wheresmekeys

well now. this was meant to be kept private!!!!!! but since it has been splashed across youtube & facebook and so many people have now seen it…… I may as well share it with you too! my mortification is complete especially as this was only loaded on Saturday night and by the time we went to bed it had 48 views…..it now has over 2,000 and not only have friends and possibly family seen this…but so have 2,000 other people!!!! hysterical.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arW19A92waY

oh and p.s. Cemanthe has been sleeping in a tent in the backyard ever since!!!
p.s.s. the background to this is Britain’s Got Talent and a contestant that appeared on Saturday night. if your’e on twitter check out the hashtags #wheresmephone #wheresmekeys this will explain more

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just a reminder

http://sosbrunodebbie.co.za/ - everything possible is being done back in South Africa to bring them home. Please forward this on. Thank you

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And the winner of the Best Movie of the Year Award goes to…..

……..drumroll…….”The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel for the elderly and beautiful”.

Saturday dawned grey and cold….a typical spring day in the UK and although I had planned to go find more easter eggs for the Big Egg Hunt, it was cold and wet so I decided to change my plans. Thats what plans are for…the be changed Church Street looked cheerful & gay with the England and Irish flags lining the street; a rugby game was due to kick off at Twickenham stadium later that day.

First off CJ and I headed into Twickenham; Church Street to Sweetie Pies to partake of Guiness cupcakes and tea…seriously, the genius cupcake maker had concocted a mixture of chocolate and guiness for the St Patrick’s Day cupcakes. My conclusion…they were delicious. Initially I turned my nose up at the prospect of guiness in my cupcake and on arrival declared that there was no way I could eat a cupcake that contained guiness…..urgh, I cant stand the smell of guiness and the thought turned my stomach. But, when I had a look at the dainty little creations…I though hmmmm, well maybe. So the ever so delightful ……..let me try a wee bit of hers….and voila, 10 minutes later I was tucking into what turned out to be a scrumptious cupcake. Very rich, and certainly very filling and totally delicious. Never say ‘never’ hmmmmm. The reason for our visit was of course Mother’s Day (on Sunday) and CJ was treating me to an outing….what a treasure she is.

Whilst we were chatting and partaking we got to discussing movies. I havn’t been to the cinmea in well over a year and am always bemoaning the fact that I get to miss so many great movies. I love going to the cinema, it’s like you are transported into another world.    However, the cost has become a bit prohibitive, so I dont get to go as often as I would like.
So on Saturday we were talking about the latest offering….”The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel for the elderly and beautiful” Oh my word, what a treat and am I sooooooo glad I went.

It was a delight from beginning to end.   Sad and funny and poignant and so very typical, not only of the age group but also of the British. I felt the characters were beautifully portrayed and the essence of their age-group; the middle upper-class, and the characteristics of the typical attitudes and quirks of the British were captured perfectly.   In my previous job as a carer, I cared for every one of those characters portrayed in the movie.   What struck me as the most sad was of course how people shut themselves off from life and emotions and restrict themselves from enjoyment and experience.   Full of prejudice, and unbending ‘this is how it should be’, they make themselves so very lonely.   Unable to imagine that there could be a different way of being.

The rascism of the age was captured very well without being over the top or blaming, it melted in the face of experience and some of the characters opened and bloomed like flowers after rain in a desert.    Joyful, and fun, silly and noisy, vibrant, colourful and yes….exotic, it is a must for everyone.     A fabulous journey through a microscopic sliver of life, it made me want to sell up everything I own and go to India.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel was enchanting, the Indian characters a delight, with their own prejudices and rascism, the characters well portrayed without going over the top. The central character played by Dev of Slumdog Millionaire was a delight and he was perfect for the role; bursting with energy and enthusiasam with a head full of dreams. For one, I hope to see him in many more films. I am also now itching to go to India. I realise it is probably not like it was portrayed in the movie, but I would love to experience the colours and the noise, the hustle and bustle, the exhuberance and the craziness the food and definitely the sounds and smells……..the only thing in my opinion that was missing. The rest was just right. Not too much, and not too little.

Judi Dench was an absolute treat, Bill Nighy played his character just right, Tom Wilkinson was perfect, and Maggie Smith almost stole the show…although that honour definitely goes to Dev Patel…., enthusiastic, charming, disorganised and filled with dreams……..

A class act, in the same genre as Fried Green Tomatoes, Driving Miss Daisy and Tea with Mussolini. No doubt if I sat and thought about it some more, I could come up with a list of films in the same category…..but these will suffice for now. Go and see it if you can…it is just wonderful.

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SA hostages in Somalia – SOS

over 500 days ago on 26 October 2010, Bruno Pelizzari and Debbie Calitz were taken hostage by Somali pirates, at the entrance to the Mozambique / Madagascar channel. They have been sold over & over to various pirate groups, used as a commodity.

Diplomatic attempts by the South African Government, to secure their release have been unsuccessful.

They are being held in unknown conditions, possibly subject to abuse and/or deprivation. The families are unable to raise anything close to an amount that would be acceptable to the hostage takers and are appealing to the generosity of the public, from all walks of life & all nations.

There are numerous events being arranged in SA, concerts, flyers being distributed, comedy evenings, will all proceeds being generously donated to the trust fund set up to raise the money required by the family, to enable them to negotiate with the pirates. Go facebook and join the page  or view a new version of an old song Yellow Ribbon

The original song “Tie a yellow ribbon ‘round the old oak tree” has been re-written with words fitting Bruno & Debbie’s plight. Along with this idea, yellow ribbons are being sold at all events, and privately, to assist in raising the funds.

If you would like to make a donation, please see the bank details below……. Lets bring the world together and help this family get their loved ones back home!

To make a direct transfer or EFT a contribution of your own choice
Acc Name: SOS BRU and DEB TRUST
Acc. No: 6232 556 1505
(Swift Code: FIRNZAJJ)
FIRST NATIONAL BANK
Florida Road, Durban Branch
Branch / IBAN Code:  22 05 26
(Universal Code 250655 may also be used)

My sister told me about this a few weeks ago and typical of her she has thrown herself into this with vigour and came up with the yellow ribbon campaign to raise funds.  She has met with family members and knows that this is not a hoax.

I hope that you would be able to support this campaign, even in a small way by sharing this blog and raising the profile of this campaign.

“Writing is a struggle against silence”. Carlos Fuentes

I am personally not a believer in giving money to pirates, as that just gives them more money to buy ammunition and guns and to continue their nefarious work.  BUT, and this is a big BUT…. I think to myself….what if these were member of my family…..I would want to bring them home by any means possible.

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my to do list for this week

My daughter recently bought me a magnetic weekly to do list.  I had yet to fill in any things to so. She decided enough was enough and I came home to this tonight……how can I decline?

my to-do list

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how to make the most of a weekend

Friday 6.30pm finally arrived after 5 long days of waiting! Skipping out the office door I headed to the station, loving the classical music that greets me there every night (the music is apparently a ‘yob’ deterrent!).  The train was not as full as usual so I managed to get a seat and someone had kindly left their Evening Standard behind for me to read.  Reading the papers on my daily journey has become an enjoyable pastime and I am learning more about politics, the Olympics, the shenanigans of our City officials, what’s on in London and from the Metro I am increasing my stock of ‘very interesting things I read in the papers’ ….one day when I die, they are going to come into my house and have to search me out amongst the paper cut-outs! It’s a real compulsion and has become a bit of an addiction.  I have always been an ‘accummulator’ and all through my life I have collected all sorts of things…wish I had been as diligent about collecting money…but I digress.

Back to the weekend; once home we, my girl and I had a yummy meal, watched a bit of telly and worked like demons on our respective businesses.   Late to bed again at about 1am.

Saturday it was up early and not too bright and headed off to Russell Square for the Immerse Event – #StepAhead where my daughter was to be one of the speakers.  I was so excited, to attend one of her trainings and looking forward to hearing from the other speakers too.  I met some fab people at the event and thoroughly enjoyed the day’s talks.    I especially enjoyed hearing from Elliot Kay, the Coach with the Hat; a real live wire speaker.  My daughter was a delight and I have to say that I am so exceptionally proud of her achievements and how much she has developed as a speaker of note; a resounding applause followed her talk.  We headed to the bar after and had a wonderfully funny and interesting conversation that ranged back and forth across a wide range of subjects.

Heading for home we relaxed over tea and more chat.  I had planned on doing a self-guided Dickens tour on Sunday so did a bit of research to prepare me for the walk.  We were also waiting with bated breath for news from South Africa to say my sister had delivered her baby.  Finally after a very long labour, she had a fine and lovely bouncing boy; Luca.

my little nephew...Luca. how gorgeous he is!

What a lovely day I woke to…..sunny, blue skies. Just what I had ordered for my walkabout….except I didn’t get that far as it turned out!!! I had promised to help my daughter with some transcribing, video to word!! Urgh! Not fun.  It took hours and thankfully had a useful outcome in that I have now realised that I no longer want to be a transcriber.  It was so very tedious. But finally after about 2 hours of typing we decided to down tools and head to the river for a walk.  The day was so incredibly beautiful and we enjoyed a bracing stroll to Richmond Lock, along the Thames Path towards Kew and back again.  CJ has a new camera lens and I got papped!!! repeatedly She is so funny and I eventually gave up and posed and smiled and did my duty as a photographic subject! hahaha.

Actually her photos are amazing and she could be a professional photographer I am sure. Tea and cake followed when we got home and then back to the drawing board. I am now seriously into pinterest and had to chuckle when I read a blog about how addictive pinterest has become and that in the near future there will be ‘Pinterest Anonymous’!! I’ll probably be it’s first customer.  I am loving it and especially love all the fabulous travel photos of some of the most amazing places.  A great weekend, albeit way too short.  Plus I didnt get to do my walk afterall…..instead I now look forward to doing it next weekend.

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a sad day….

I was knocked for a loop this morning when my daughter came through and read me the news that Whitney Houston has passed away.  The news was a real shocker and my reaction no less so! I started crying with no idea why.  I had loved much of her music and of course just loved the movie ‘The Bodyguard’…the ultimate romance.  I won’t say I was a fan as such, but I did feel very, very sad at the death of someone who was so talented, and at one stage appeared to have it all; talent, fame, money, travel and all the trappings, and yet it wasn’t enough.  Here is a really beautiful video, of the Dubai fountains synchronised to the words of :

I will always love you

I hope you enjoy the video, it’s really beautiful. Not too sure about the site…but the video is gorgeous.

Just after midday I took myself off into London for the afternoon to go walkabout, one of my passions and something I always find totally uplifting.  As I walked I mused at the fact that despite that I don’t have much money, very few possessions and with a mountain of debt to conquer, it is something as simple as walking about this beautiful city that has a richness that money can’t buy.  Is it really true then that money can’t buy happiness?

After a most wonderful afternoon, wandering here and there, up alleys twisting and winding, alongside the river, admiring and enjoying the sights, many familiar and well beloved….I arrived home to tea and rusks with my wonderful daughter.   Then I got onto facebook only to discover that one of my facebook friends with whom I had frequently exchanged comments or liked his posts was on the verge of suicide.

His post read: “I have fought so many battles in my life from a violent father, bullying at school and much more yet I have achieved so much. 3 special beautiful children and the best partner anyone could want. I am so so tired now though. I can’t fight any more, my mind and body are ill and worn out, my motivation gone. I am ready and it is time.
Thank you for all your love, it has been amazing. I will sleep peacefully and at rest now and start a new journey. I am looking forward to seeing old friends and family and devastated to be leaving mine.
Goodbye cruel world.”

The tragedy is that we all saw his earlier posts, the sad comments and unhappy picture posts and no-one realised just how much help he was needing. So many people said ‘I wish I’d known’ or ‘I wish I’d said something’.  But felt they couldn’t at the time.  How constrained we are by the conventions of society.  When your’e on social media you are meant to be ‘happy’ all the time, with thousands of ‘quotes’ or ‘inspirational’ posts or quotes filling the timeline.  Why are people unable to be normal?  Sad or unhappy posts are not always welcomed by those who read them.  I know…my daughter went through a very difficult time last year and came under fire from some people for her posts, not all mind as many were incredibly supportive.

The follow up to that post by his friends on facebook was fantastic and thankfully someone found him in time and he is now in hospital and being treated, his 3 special beautiful children at his bedside.  There is an advert currently being shown on TV that highlights mental illness and how awkward it is for people to know what to do or how to react.   I wonder how it must have been for Whitney Houston, a troubled, unhappy person who appeared to have it all.  I wonder at the outpouring of grief…I wonder that we left till after she died to say how much we loved her music, how much we cared. Would it have made a difference to her life?

Folks, if you know of someone who is going through a tough time right now, reach out to them, mental illness is not a shame and perhaps a kind word or gesture would make all the difference.  Smile at a stranger, don’t be afraid of looking foolish, or making a mistake….just reach out and even if you don’t know someone who is going through a tough time….reach out to those around you anyway.  Say how much you care and don’t leave it for the #RIP.

Below is what I saw today….

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and somehow the grey day was beautiful and quite apt for a sad day.

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