THE TRUTH OF ‘I LOVE YOU’ by Dr John Demartini

A few years ago I had the great good fortune of listening to Dr Demartini speak at an event.  At the time I had some personal issues that I wanted to sort out, issues that I felt were holding me back in many ways.  I was so impressed by what he had to say that I signed up for the ‘Breakthrough Experience’, a 3 day course that he runs.  It was one of the hardest weekends of my life but also one of the most life-changing weekends.  This was during a period of time where I had a brain-storm (not to be confused with brain-wave…which is usually the precursor to something sensible) and signed up to just about every Personal Development course that was being held in London at that time (2007-2008), 9 months of madness that cost me a ruddy fortune.  Subsequent to that period of lunacy, I was left with a serious amount of debt and over a period of time….a healthy respect of Personal Development avoidance.

However, subsequent to that and because this particular course did in fact produce a positive outcome, Dr Demartini’s course was/is the only one I would ever recommend.  I signed up to his newsletters and follow his page on facebook.  I enjoy reading the information he sends and usually get some real learning out of it.  I received this in the mail a few days ago and thought I would share it with you as it is really profound….I hope he doesn’t mind ( and in case he reads this (as if) no Dr D I am not putting you on a pedestal….I just really appreciate what you teach! )

So here goes:

” The three words ‘I LOVE YOU’ can be for some the most challenging words to say and yet also the most commonly appreciated words for people to hear.

Many people hold back on sharing their love and appreciation for others because of a fear of rejection.
I often ask my clients what they would do if they were told they only had 24 hours to live. In all, if not most cases, they say they would make sure they used their last hours to say ‘Thank you, I love you’ to all of the people they feel contributed towards their lives.

At the core of every human being, we all just want to be loved and appreciated for who we are. So letting someone know that you love them is one of the most precious gifts you can give.

Whether Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day or Children’s Day, when it comes to those you love, find a way to share your appreciation and the truth of your heart.

When asked the best way to overcome the fear of saying ‘I love you’, I suggest the following:

Write down 25 benefits to you of your sharing the words ‘I love you’ with the person you wish to share your heart with, and then also write down 25 drawbacks to you of not sharing the words ‘I love you’ with them.
Whenever we see more benefits than drawbacks in an outcome, we take action.
Write down all the things you fear may occur if you say ‘I love you’ and then take each item you listed and ask how it will benefit you if it occurs. Every situation has a balance of support and challenge and no matter what happens you will always experience both sides.
Write down 25 benefits to the person hearing you say you love them and 25 drawbacks for that person if you do not tell them. When you perceive more benefits to them of hearing the truth of your heart you will feel inspired to tell them you love them.
In our daily relationships we swing back and forth between like and dislike, attract and repel, yet are these not the two arms walking hand in hand as one in a balanced gait – truthfully called love.

True love is the synthesis and synchronicity of all complementary emotions – a balance between the attractive and repulsive emotional extremes. It is a pure energy that permeates our entire existence. When applied to a romantic or intimate relationship, true love emerges as you come to appreciate both the positive and negative, good and bad, happy and sad and ups and downs of a relationship. You realise that the purpose of a relationship is not only romance, joy, support and so-called happiness; it is also equally about learning, challenge, growth and personal evolution.

True love is our ultimate objective, whether we’re aware of it or not. We may think we’re looking for something else, something material and fleeting, but even the pursuit of transient goals just leads us back to the truth of love. The purpose of all relationships is to dissolve the barriers that keep us from recognising the love that already is and expressing the love we ultimately are.

Love and wisdom,
Dr John Demartini “

As I said these are his words, and I have not added or subtracted anything from them, but I have sure gained a lot.  Hope you have enjoyed it as much.

2012 in review

This is super cool I just had to share the WordPress folks are genius I love stats under normal circumstances, so this was good fun to see. Thanks wordpress… Looking forward to my 2013 stats!

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 27,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 6 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

Wassailing down the Thames on a Sunday afternoon

me and the Green Man

yes! You read that right…..I went Wassailing down the Thames on a Sunday afternoon!!  The Twelfth Night of Christmas festivities are held annually on the 6th January, and this year (also the first year) I got to hear about it!
So yesterday (January 6th) was one of the highlights of my London life to date!!  I have lived in this city for 11 years now and it was only 2 weeks ago that I learned about the custom of wassailing.  I received an email from a friend of mine inviting me to join him and his crew on the Trinity Tide as they carried the Holly (Green) Man from St Katherine’s Pier along the Thames to Bankside.    I joined the cutter and crew at the pier at 1.45pm and my excitement knew no bounds; to be a passenger on the Trinity Tide had been a dream of mine since November 2010 when I first saw it in the Lord Mayor’s Show

the beautiful Trinity Tide

My daughter who was to be the official photographer and I set off really early and made our way to Tower Hill…thankfully the trains were running just fine and we made it in good time    We stopped off at Costa Coffee for a last-minute order (by text…gotta love social mobility) of 5 hot coffees; white please!!     I was guessing the crew were in need of urgent refreshment after rowing on what was a cold and grey day, from Deptford to Tower Bridge.   Then down to the pier it was…I was still stressing big time about ‘am I in the right place?’ & ‘where were we landing?’ and sent a panic stricken text to Joe to make sure I had the right place. Daft!!!

me on my phone

When we arrived at the pier, there was no Green Man to be seen; my nerves were skittering about and almost overwhelmed my excitement.  Then suddenly I saw the Trinity Tide as she rounded the bend

the Trinity Tide arrives in good time

and a few seconds later I saw the Green Man making his way down the walkway to the pontoon!! Hooray!! I was in the right place at the right time! This does not happen often  The Green Man looked absolutely splendid decked out in his greenery and the face painting was extraordinary!   The Holly Man ‘brings in the green’ and ‘wassails’ or toasts the people, the River Thames and the Globe – an old tradition encouraging good growth.

the extraordinary Holly (Green) Man arrives

The cutter pulled up alongside the pontoon and quick as a flash before anyone could change their minds I was on and seated.  Try to pry me off now and see how far you get!!!

safely ensconced and looking as pleased as punch

Within a very short space of time we were off…..the piper in the bow,

settled in for the trip; the piper in the bow of the Trinity Tide

the oarsman ready to row, the jolly green man standing as we go, one of the Mummers to wave and say hello; wassail the boats, then me in the VIP seat ( ) and Joe standing at the stern to guide us safely along the river with nautical expressions like: easy as you go, or keep it even lads and even the odd ‘heave’.

looking ever so tiny against the huge structure of Tower Bridge, the Trinity Tide is on her way

Ohmygosh…what fun!!! I was truly in my element, grinning from ear-to-ear like a cheshire cat.  I could scarcely believe my luck.
What an experience…..I can recommend it to anyone….although I am not sure that you would be able to go in the Trinity Tide, but you can sure take a ferry along the river.  The views of the city are marvellous and although the tide was out and the water so low I could probably have walked along the river (kidding!), it was just amazing to sail beneath the bridges and see the buildings along the embankments from that perspective.

the underbelly of London Bridge, thankfully not falling down that day.

The Cap’n and his crew hailed and cheered the Green Man and the Trinity Tide and even 3 Days in London got 3 cheers….what fun!!
We made exceptionally good time, those blokes sure know how to row….and before we knew it, and way too soon for me, we arrived at Bankside.

the Green man arrives at Bankside…let the festivities begin!!!

And an extra bonus….because we were so early we (the rowers not me!!) rowed almost to Waterloo Bridge and then back down again, all the while the Mummer and Green Man wassailing along the Thames.
We landed safely on the beach (Churchill would have been proud), where we were met by a group of Mummers and others.

The Mummers waiting to greet the Green Man

Quick as a flash the Green Man was gone and I didn’t even have time to say goodbye  I climbed out the boat with huge reluctance!  The embankment was lined with revellers and spectators there to see the arrival of the Green Man from the Thames, watch the Mummers and join in with the celebrations and Twelfth Night festivities.
Their costumes were just brilliant and the characters enchanting!  I said goodbye to the Trinity Tide and crew and all too soon they made their way back along the Thames to Deptford.

goodbye Trinity Tide; bon voyage and thank you

The play was in full swing by the time I found myself a good vantage point and although I could not see very well or hear much of what was going on, the bits that I did get to see and hear were uproariously funny.  At the end of the play, cakes are distributed – a bean and a pea hidden in two of them. Those who find them are hailed King and Queen for the day and crowned with ceremony.  The little cakes were duly handed out and King Bean and Queen Pea were identified, they were crowned and the whole jolly group set off with revellers and spectators trailing behind to the George Inn for the next bit of the tradition.  I ran like mad through the back streets (it’s really useful knowing my way around!) to get to the George Inn before the crowd as I really wanted to record them arriving….which they did with great noise, pomp and ceremony!! What a brilliant experience.

the Holly (Green) Man arrives at the George Inn, Southwark amidst much noise and ceremony

I can highly recommend that you put the 6 January 2015 into your diary and head on over to Bankside for next year’s festivities.  Snippets of information in this blog are from this site; do visit it, it’s brilliant.

If you would like to join me on twitter  where I post information about London I would be delighted.  I am also on facebook and if you have any photos you would like to share of your London experiences, why not join the growing community of people who love London.  Thanks for dropping by and reading this blog, I also blog about London at 3 days in London.  So if you are in London for 3 days….or perhaps more, do feel free to visit the website for some ideas on places to visit and things to do and I wish you a wonderful stay.

FOR THOSE BORN BEFORE 1985

According to today’s regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 60′s, 70′s and early 80′s probably shouldn’t have survived,

This is because our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint which was promptly chewed and licked. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or cabinets and it was fine to play with pans.

When we rode our bikes, we wore no helmets, just flip-flops and fluorescent ‘spokey dokey’s’ on our wheels. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or airbags and riding in the passenger seat was a treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle and it tasted the same. We ate chips, bread and butter pudding and drank fizzy juice with sugar in it, but we were …never overweight because we were always outside playing. We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle or can and no-one actually died from this.

We would spend hours building go-carts out of scraps and then went top speed down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into stinging nettles a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We would leave home in the morning and could play all day, as long as we were back before it got dark. No one was able to reach us and no one minded. We did not have Play stations or X-Boxes, no video games at all. No 99 channels on TV, no videotape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no DVDs, no Internet chat rooms. We had friends – we went outside and found them. We played elastics and rounders, and sometimes that ball really hurt! We fell out of trees, got cut, and broke bones but there were no law suits. We had full on fist fights but no prosecution followed from other parents.

We played knock-the-door-run-away and were actually afraid of the owners catching us. We walked to friends’ homes. We also, believe it or not, WALKED to school; we didn’t rely on mummy or daddy to drive us to school, which was just round the corner. We made up games with sticks and tennis balls. We rode bikes in packs of 7 and wore our coats by only the hood. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of…they actually sided with the law. This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. And you’re one of them. Congratulations!

Pass this on to others who have had the luck to grow as real kids, before lawyers and government regulated our lives, for our own good.
For those of you who aren’t old enough, thought you might like to read about us.

The good old days.

a Christmas message to my virtual friends

To all my dear friends in the virtual world, across the miles and across the seas, whether we have met

through facebook, blog or twitter or maybe even face to face….

It has been my greatest pleasure getting to know you via updates, tweets and blogs

I love to see what y’all get up to and you often cheer my days…..

So on this eve of Christmas and for the days and the months ahead

I wish you all a wonderful festive season with your friends and families

wherever you may be in the world.

Have a fabulous day and if you ever visit London be sure to let me know

it would be great to meet up.

Lots of love, Cindy

One of my absolute favourite views of London with the beautiful St Paul’s Cathedral in the distance.

life through my rear-view mirror

A few years ago I became embroiled in the Personal Development world.  One of the many things we ‘learned’ was to not look back; “if you look in your rear-view mirror you can’t see your way forward”.   Now I understand the sentiment, and I get the gist of it…ergo don’t always be looking back and  perhaps regretting things you may or may not have done etc etc.  However, sometimes it is good to look back and you may just discover something that you had forgotten about, but that was meaningful to you at the time, something that can lift your spirits.   I just had such a moment.  I was clearing out an old email address inbox…actually the truth of it is I booked for a workshop for tomorrow and can’t find the darn confirmation so am searching through all my email addresses in the hope I can find it

So I typed in the search bar ‘museum of london’ and an old email popped up in the search results, an email that has absolutely nothing to do with the Museum of London, and yet everything to do with London, and more specifically an anniversary date……I clicked on the link and this is what I found

The title of the email was: 08.10.08 an auspicious date….

“Hi folks,

I had to put finger to keyboard today and share with you this most auspicious date!

Today is my 7^th ANNIVERSARY!!!! Anniversary of what you may ask?……well, it is 7 years ago today that I left South Africa for the first time to explore the wider world.  An adventure of my life, that is still taking me on paths unknown and avenues as yet unexplored.

I remember so well the events leading up to my taking what was for me a huge step. Me who loves my comfort zones, my own bed, a cup of tea when I want it and to be able to lock myself away behind closed doors.  How life and I have changed since then.

3 main events happened that year (2001) that were to have an impact.  My sister Caroline was living in Ireland and was to celebrate her 30^th birthday on the 9^th October (tomorrow), and dearly wanted someone from the family to join her and hubbie Ewart for the party .   My daughter Cemanthe celebrated her 21^st birthday in the August and gained her independence as an adult, and the company I was working for at the time closed their doors in July.    I was at a crossroad.

I made up my mind easily enough about travelling to Ireland, who wouldn’t?  Booked my ticket through Swissair who promptly went bust a month later.   Not to be deterred I got myself through sheer force of argument onto SA Airways.  Handed my house and car keys over to my daughter, packed up my old kitbag (actually it was a new rucksack) and on this days 7 years ago fit to bust with sheer unadulterated terror and excitement I literally bounced through the terminal, through customs and on my way to my big adventure.

Flying via Zurich, I was overwhelmed with emotion to realise that not only was I in Europe but I was in the same space that WW2 happened.  Flying over Europe later that day I was in tears remembering.  Arriving in London that afternoon I was faced with the daunting task of getting myself from London City Airport to Heathrow with not a clue how.    I had to eventually speak to someone and asked for help (not an easy task for me at that stage), made my way to the tube and off to Heathrow.  What an experience, travelling on the tube was an experience I have never forgotten, and still love.  I recall looking out the window as we neared Heathrow, looking at the Mary Poppins scene before me and thinking to myself…..”I could live here!” and now I am. How marvellously lucky is that.  Btw….Mary Poppins scene= all the chimney pots!!

Later that day I arrived in Dublin and still bouncing with excitement and joy I flew into the arms of my beloved sister and brother-in-law.  Wow, 4 countries in less that 24hours!!!! Awesome.

Dublin and indeed the whole of Ireland was a magical experience and I am still totally in love with that wee island.  My ticket was booked for 6 weeks; I stayed for 6 months. Loving every minute I vowed to return as often as I could. To date I have: 8 times and still have a few counties to explore.   When my 6 months was up I flew over to London to obtain the necessary paperwork that would allow me to apply for my Ancestral Visa.  Yes, thank godness, my grandfather had the good sense to be born in London and I had the unalienable right to apply to live in this fabulous country.  I flew back to SA for a couple of weeks to set my affairs in order, sold the house and car packed my belongings into storage (where they still are today) and flew back to my new life.   What an adventure.

I started off in Ireland and spent a couple of months there travelling and exploring and then returned to London to find a job.  I had the good fortune to find free accommodation and for 6 weeks ‘house sat’ a fabulous penthouse in Hampstead with a view right across London. What a way to start.      I job searched and explored and finally settled on a job as a Carer, and so began a new chapter.      Initially I was daunted by the reality, but after a week something clicked and I stayed in the caring environment for 6.5 years.    I have had the good fortune to travel round this gorgeous country in that capacity and have been to some really beautiful places.  The most memorable being Plymouth where I cared for the dearest man who stole my heart.  It was there that I was inspired to write poetry for the first time, a couple of which have since been published.

During the last few years I have travelled to some amazing places, been driven through New York in a Limousine (courtesy of my daughter), climbed the Empire State Building, flown along the eastern seaboard of the USA to Florida.  Visited Disney World, seen Snow White and Sleeping beauty in person , ridden on a roundabout, visited Sea World and Animal World, and experienced some of the most amazing sights I never imagined existed.     Floated through Venice on a Gondola, driven through Paris in a soft-top Cadillac (courtesy of my daughter), climbed to the top of and had dinner at the Eiffel Tower, celebrating my 50^th birthday with my daughter, sailed along the Seine and wandered the streets of Paris to my hearts content.   Wandered the halls and tree-lined avenues of Versailles.   Walked the streets of Amsterdam, seen sights that blew my mind and was humbled by a visit to the Anne Frank museum.  Been on a cruise to the Bahamas, with the love of my life and travelled right round Florida from east to west and south, waded in the Gulf of Mexico, rode on a hydrofoil in the Florida swamps and stood at the southernmost point of USA, 65 miles from Cuba.  Awesome.      I’ve meandered the cobbled stones of Edinburgh, Bruges and Gibraltar.  And as well as all that, I have had the most amazing adventures and visited some gorgeous cities and towns in England and Wales.  Explored castles and cathedrals, ancient sites and visited islands.  Explored London from one end to the other and watched the sun rise over the Thames at 5am.    Seen the Grand Canyon from the air (it’s bigger than you could imagine), enjoyed an Arizona sunset and flown over the USA from west to north, seen swathes of snow that extended for hours, walked across the airport in Canada in shorts and t-shirt in freezing weather, and seen the Labrador Coast from the air.

2012.12.14 *insert: I am no longer so sure it was my “good fortune” since it has cost me a ‘fortune’ with no long lasting benefits – but that’s for another story*…… Last year I had the good fortune to be introduced to the world of Personal Development, learnt about values and beliefs, walked on Fire and jumped backwards off a 60’ pole, dug into the very depths of my soul and made wonderful friends along the way.     I have had the good fortune to learn from some of the world’s best teachers and attended courses that have opened my mind to possibilities I never knew existed.  Discovered my wealth profile, and been introduced to some fantastic opportunities.    This has also awoken a passion in me to be what I always wanted to be; a teacher.  Every day is a constant learning curve and I feel like a sponge, absorbing everything I can.    I have read the autobiographies of some of the most influential people of our lifetime, one or two of which have had a profound effect on my thinking.

I have learned about Skype, Youtube and Facebook, am a member of more groups than I can count, have virtual conversations with people from the far corners of the world, learned more about building a website, Internet Marketing, Photo Reading and business than I ever thought possible. 2012.12.14 *insert – I have now also learned about pinterest, instagram, foursquare and of course twitter!*

I am now on a new adventure and have after 6.5 years left the world of caring and am returning to Credit Control.   Had my first formal interview in 11years, which in the pre-UK days would have left me daunted and shaking.   Instead I used the tools I have been taught and before the interview was over had been invited back for the 2^nd.    It is my intention to get this job, which is a senior position for a global company and a brilliant opportunity to do what I do best, set up systems and procedures and create a new department.    I will keep you posted.    Your concentrated and concerted wishes for success will be most appreciated.  My next interview is Monday 13^th at 4.30pm UK time.   Keep your minds focussed please….I really want this position. it will also keep me in London which will allow me to see my friends more often, attend all the courses and seminars i want, and attend the training available to build my business.

I have a map for my life, which I never had before and I now live my life with intention rather than accident.  And best of all, my daughter has travelled so much of this incredible journey with me.  And there is so much more to come.

In closing, thank you to all you lovely people; my darling daughter, dear family and friends who have patiently waded through my voluminous emails and listened to my dreams and shared my excitement as I set off on each new adventure.  And to those who have become my friends along the way, I thank you for the new dimension you have brought to my life.

I celebrate and appreciate you all.  We may not meet very often, yet I think about you all.  we have shared some very special times and that is very precious to me.

Here is to the next 7 years as I celebrate my JOY OF LIFE.   I love the thought of all the things I have planned and all the possibilities as yet unexplored.

Much love to you all.

end of email from 2008.

And looking back!!!! I am amazed at how much has changed and how much has remained the same……I didn’t get the job and continued with the Caring, still travelling in that capacity, I did apply for a different job a few years later, which I got and hated….the sameness of every day drove me mad as did the boss, and the commute wore thin around the edges eventually, I went back to the Caring after 7 months and decided office work is no longer an option for me, I have however started up my own business http://3daysinlondon.info/ which is finally gaining recognition and traction, I now have my own home (sharing a house with my daughter) which she has to herself about 3 weeks of every month whilst I travel in my capacity as a Carer and  I am still totally in love with London!!!!

So there you go…..sometimes it does pay to look in the rear-view mirror.  And if you have read this far….I salute you!! Thanks

SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND I FOUND I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

snippets from my sister

1. My first job was working in an Orange juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn’t concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn’t suited for it — mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, tried being a Chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn’t have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it… couldn’t cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn’t noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn’t have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn’t fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn’t live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Centre, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian – until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND I FOUND I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!